Things change. Perceptions change. Some things mattered yesterday. They don’t anymore. Some things never mattered, now they do. People change and the biggest difficulty comes when you are asked to define yourself. Isn’t it?
Who am I? – the toughest question. For certain things I feel I have always been the same girl with the same set of beliefs but for certain other things; I am very much aware that I have changed, to a huge extent!
In a creative writing assignment, I was asked to write two pages on myself. The question was simply put – ”Who are you? Describe in 250 words.” If the assignment was to write on the girl sitting next to me, I would have written a book on her but the assignment was to write about myself and I failed miserably, I was shocked to note that in reality it’s impossible to judge oneself and the ease with which we claim to know other people is just ironical.
I thought I will talk about my hobbies, my morals, my motives, my aspirations and then I realised that those things keep changing from time to time, I am not sure if they will change more in the coming days but in the last three years they have changed drastically. Who am I? Am I the one from 2016 or the one from 2007 or the one from 2013 or the one who would become of me 3 years later?
Will I have the same answer to this question if I am asked a few days later? If my answer will be different, it could be self contradictory as well, then how will I be able to do justice to myself by contradicting my own answer? Will I even have an answer?
I knew I couldn’t answer that question, the question left me perplexed. I was feeling hopeless, what do I know of in this universe if I don’t know myself?
I thought, thought and thought. And I realised that I know of nothing and I am nobody. This answered the question on the assignment paper. Yes, I know nothing and I am nobody. I am not the girl from 2007 or 13 or 16, I am the girl from 1993, who takes birth every new day to define herself in a completely different way each different day. I am a new person every new beginning and I will be a new person by every new end. This doesn’t mean that I won’t take a stand for anything or that I am fickle-minded, this just implies that I evolve. And to me that’s what life is about, evolving! Not just revolving around the same set of thoughts.
On January 13th 1993, I was a little baby who had just come out of her mother’s womb to experience life. Today I am a 23 year old girl who woke up with a bright smile on her face to get molded by life yet again. One thing that is constant is change and another is the willingness to change.